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 The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story

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Vox

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PostSubject: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:33 pm

(I am really a worst case scenario type of person, so I thought I could post one of my stories on here. I am working on being a writer.)

Chapter 1

It was a cloudy day, with a slight chance of rain, and it was 65 degrees in the middle of December. Jon didn't really believe in all that global warming stuff, but he was forced to partake in it nonetheless. Forced to mend the damage other people had done. Just like he was forced to partake in everything. Freedom was overrated, he was always told.

Never compromise, never blink. Never talk about it, never think. That was the famous creedo that the first "President" of the Empire States had built upon his land when he first took office. And every heir has since done the same. In this world stupidity was cool.

Of course, nobody complained. They were adequately fed, sufficiently sustained. They were given everything they needed to survive. But Jon never wanted to survive; he wanted to live. He wanted to show the world what he had to offer. But such outlandish thoughts were outlawed. Creativity, Imagination, Humanity, was outlawed. Jon was the only one who cared; like one voice lost in the chant of an entire population.

He kept all this a secret. He was subtle enough to be able to blend in; to hide in plain sight. He was very good at keeping all eyes off of him. Which he always did. He was a capital offender. He had committed the worst crime out of all the crimes. He was a Christian. This was punishable by death. And with all his other charges, he would be one of the world's most wanted criminals. But this would not stop him. Since when did anything stop him?

So Jon walked down the street, in the mandatory gray and white uniform, hands in his pockets, and shoulders relaxed. He listened to the various conversations on the street, barely being able to understand all the various slang, cuss words, and peculiar dialects. Of course, the language he had learned had come out of the few books that were left. It was also most likely that he was the last person to be able to read, also.

A few soldiers were in the street, to make sure some pot-smoking man wouldn't go on a dopey rampage. Sometimes they were just there to harass the residents. People getting shot in the street for no other reason than target practice had become so common that they began selling bullet-proof armor in all the clothing stores, right next to the lingerie.

And there was rarely ever anything left in that section; namely a good majority of the women left had either become hookers or something along those lines. It was not uncommon to see women walking in lingerie in the streets. It made him sick. It was truly a perversion, to see God's Earth so polluted.

He had come acroos God by pure accident; simply by reading and salvaging books, and he had come across one called The Bible. It was an interesting book, one of the most captivating he had ever read. He had become so engrossed by the book that once he was through he decided to pledge his life to Christ, as the book said he should do. And as he found at, all the things the Bible says are bad the government in fact supports, and vice versa. All the more reason.

Jon kept to himself as it began to rain, at first a few droplets, but then an endless torrent that washed away nearly the entire street. He quickly ran home to his designated Apartment, and opened the door.

(So, yeah, this chapter was mainly just background, but What do you think? I'll be adding more chapters as I get the story written.)
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Molly
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:13 am

That is really good so far! I would love to read it as you get it written. The background and setting and everything are very interesting. It sounds like you have a good theme coming along with the story and I can't wait to read the rest. I also love to write and I think that this story has some potential!

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Paris/Gods Angel

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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:38 am

I love it
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Thu Dec 18, 2008 4:00 pm

Thanks for the input. The next chapter should be ready in a few days. Or maybe one. Can never really tell about these sorts of things.
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Thu Dec 18, 2008 6:47 pm

Thats really good. It kinda reminded me of the book 1984 by George Orwell. Not the Christianity part.
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:07 pm

1984 is one of my favorite books. It's really kind of inspired off that one.
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:46 pm

Chapter 2

Jon walked through the door, absolutely soaking wet, and entered his apartment. He was lucky, he had been designated one of the "Suites", as his room. They weren't an improvement on the regular ones. It probably had to do with his job: law enforcement. The cops were always considered pretty high on the government hierarchy totem pole.

He took off his jacket and hung it up on the cheap coat rack hanging from the ceiling. He saw out of the corner of his eye the miniature camera that rotated to follow him wherever he went. Jon sighed. Government Surviellance was never high enough. Walking to the bathroom he took off the remainder of his clothes and set the timer on the shower. 10 minutes of cold water. It wasn't that bad, once you got used to it, and the rain water he walked through was certainly colder than the tap.

He walked out of the shower and rubbed himself down with a used towel. Just as he was getting his pants on, he heard his watch alarm go off. Time to dose. A syringe popped out, already prepared with a dose of processed hep.

Processed Hep was made as a thought-reducing chemical. It kept you from making more complex thoughts than the orders you took. It was a reduced "high", to put it simply. Oh, they could perform simple functions, such as driving, walking, and talking. But since there were self-driving cars, walking was outdated, and nobody expected you to say much more than "Yes, sir" or "No, sir", everybody was always in a stupor. Well, except for Jon. He had spent the last few months developing an immunity to hep. It didn't affect him nearly as much as it affected others.

At any rate, he injected himself with the dose, then walked to his couch and sat down. Automatically, his Screen flickered to life. The default channel was the "Educational" channel, but with luck, you could sometimes get the news. He picked up the remote (noticably absent of a Channel switch) and turned down the volume a notch before getting up and pressing the button for his mealpac. Only one a day. Barely kept him alive.

Meanwhile, he could see The Big Man, pretty much the ruler of all the Unity, delivering another spout of his propaganda. "We are a single united people!" he exclaimed. "There is no war, no murder, no crime, because you as a people are one! One cannot shoot someone else anymore than they can shoot themselves! We have rooted out the one cause of Man's Inhumanity To Man!"
He went through his signature motto:
"One cause; One People; One Country; One Leader!"
Jon left the room as the Cheer was played through the Screen.
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Sat Jan 03, 2009 11:47 pm

Well, you're keeping it pretty interesting Vox and I want to read the rest of it! Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Sun Jan 04, 2009 12:37 am

Vox I really like this. You have a really cool way of writing!
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Sun Jan 04, 2009 2:18 am

This is cool I agree with Molly and Emily you keep it interesting with the way you write. Keep writing I'm excited to read more. =)
So is the Big Man kind of like Big Brother in 1984?
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Sun Jan 04, 2009 1:03 pm

He's pretty much like a number of political figures that you can find in these types of stories. Yes, Big Brother is one of them.
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Sun Jan 04, 2009 6:06 pm

Lubb it sweetness. I love you
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Sun Jan 04, 2009 7:03 pm

Thanks, guys.
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PostSubject: Re: The Last Christian: A Multi-part Story   Sun Jan 04, 2009 7:40 pm

Vox wrote:
Thanks, guys.
No prob bob.
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