What are you looking for in a guy/girl?

Hi guys,
I had this idea and I hope it helps all of us. If your like me you may have made a commitment to God and your future husband or wife to stay pure until your married. For me this is more then just physical, it's emotional and spiritual purity as well. At times it can seem like I am the only one on this journey of purity. It's hard to remember God has someone special for me. But relationships are everwhere and sometime's jealousy sneaks up although I know it will only work out in God's timing. It's not that I think dating is wrong, but I do believe god has someone special for each one of us. Sometimes, I feel like no guy is going to want what I have to offer, and then other times I feel as if there's no one even out there who is remotely close to what i am looking for. So this topic is where you can write about what you ar eor what you will in the future be looking for in a husband or a wife. We are not trying to set everyone up It's just more of a way we can help each other know we are not alone and there are other paople fighting this battle too. Alos, it's a way to not lose hope by knowing there are girls/guys out there who do care about your inside, your relationship with God, and your interests and dreams, rather then just where you buy your clothes from. So I hope this helps you all. Feel free to message me Emily K.

The boy I date must be christian,neat and clean,good grades,dosen't sag.I have to be able to trust him. you guys.

I agree with you Paris, but I don't just want a man that's a christian I want someone who is on fire for God. I think trust is so important. I actually have never been in a dating relationship, but I have watched a lot of couples fail because of lack of trust. Emily

This is a GREAT topic Emily!! I like you had these thoughts. They kinda changed when I started going into my rebell like stage in January. I went to prom in May with a guy I didn't totally know...We weren't dating and we still aren't. I actually haven't talked to him since around prom.

Then also in May I had my first kiss. I don't regret it, but if I could go back and do it again, I don't think I would have done it. It was ok. But I don't know. I guess kissing is fun for some people. LoL! I didn't enjoy it THAT much. I guess I was just thinking of why I did it. Anyway, guys are a BIG weakness for me! I see so many couples that really like each other and they hold hands and all that, it's so cute! And I want that. But I KNOW that's not what God wants for me. I'm trying to get back on the right track, but it's really hard with tons of guys out there.

What I am looking for in a guy is a strong Christian, someone who will build me up when I'm down, love kids, someone I can trust, someone who doesn't have doubts about a relationship with me, and there's more. But those are the top things I want in a guy.

Thanks for making this post Emily!!

Yeah, I agree with y'all, mostly.
For some reason, I feel like I already talked about this in another thread...But I'll just name whatever comes to mind...
Soo...I want a guy who is on fire for God, believes the same things as me, loves me for me, defends me, listens to my opinion, can compromise, has a call to go to Africa like me, loves kids and is really good with them, helps me around the house [it bothers me when guys think that cleaning and such is a woman's job...'cause its not in my opinion. Whoever made the mess should clean it up, but its okay to help someone out. Which is why I don't like chores...but thats another matter...hahaha ], encourages me, isn't afraid to show their emotions and feelings in front of me and others [that totally annoys me when guys think they have to act all tough and stuff...], is honest, and tons of other things. I could go on and on and on and on.

I agree mostly with Karah!
I so agree with the whole acting tough deal, I think they've got to show some emotion and they have to be sensitve, caring, honest...like if he can't make a date CALL not just wait for me to figure it out lol, first most imporant charateristc strong realinship with the Lord...cuz if he doesn't and ya think "oh yeah well i can help him build that realinship" most of the time he'll drag you down with him....and trustworthy definatally....he's got to do SOME of the cleaning like Karah said, i def agree with her there!! And he's got to be there whenever i need him....stand up for me not do what he thinks is "cool" and he's gotta act the same way around his friends when he's with me...the same way he does when his friends aren't there....and the 2nd most important one to me is he has to be drug/smoke/alcohol FREE, I could go on and on but this will work!

i mean no disrespect but but if the wife is a stay at home mother than she shouldn't expect the husband to help with the cleaning because he's already working trying to take care of the family. and also remember there are two people in the relationship, its not all about the girl.

Hey Karah it's great to know I am not the only one with a lot of standards I think it's great to have a lot of standards. Some people disagree with me which is ok, but it makes it easier to say no. You know? hahaha

Emily, I'm sorry to hear about that. I know it's really hard when I see a cute sensitive guy holding a girls hand so tightly and just staring at her like she's the only girl in the world. It kind of raises some jealousy issues. But I know that God has a great plan for me. Not that I think dating is wrong, but Barlow Girl has this really great video where they talk about dating and broken hearts and I just love it! If your interested in watching l=it let me know

And as for you DudeyDudeDudeDude or mystery man, my mom is a stay at home mom and she does do most of the house work but it is because she loves my dad so much! I don't know if your mom stays at home with you guys but if she doesn't maybe you don't understand that a mother's job is never over, unlike a working husband's job that ends at around 5:00 every day. I mean no disrespect either but I think that it is a great asset for guys to love their wives so much they want to help them a little.

Great comments guys keep them coming! Emily K.

This is a really great topic... there are some really good discussions. But this is something that I really struggle with whenever someone asks me what I'm looking for in my future husband. Because the thing is, I'm not looking. I feel that it's the guy's role to pursue and my job to be pursued. I don't want to be some desperate girl who feels as though she absolutely needs a guy... because I don't. Especially not right now. Sure, I get jealous... I've been getting jealous a lot lately. I get jealous of all these cute young couples I see and it's like I want that so badly. But I know that God doesn't want me dating right now and I know that my waiting will pay off someday. I just need to trust God with that.
I also realize that I can't ask anything of my future husband that I'm not willing to give of myself. Like I want a guy who has a strong relationship with God. But I can't ask that of him if I don't have a strong relationship with God myself. A relationship takes two and it wouldn't be right for me to "pick" what I want in a guy. If I would do that, I could miss who God has for me because I'd overlook everything and only see what I want.
Soo yeah, of course there are things that I want in my future husband, but the most important thing is that he has a strong relationship with God and that he'll love God more than me and be able to lead me spiritually in our relationship. Of course there are things like love and trust that definitely make a relationship, but as for all the "little" details, well I know God will work all those out.

That's totally true Molly. I have never really thought about it quite like that. Once again opening up my eyed to a totally new concept Your great at that! Thank you again for everything you did Love ya, Emily

I agree most with Molly. My view is that there is no big need to look. When you find your soulmate, you will know. I never have and won't set standards for whatever girl I will eventually marry.

Currently I'm in a happy relationship. I never set out to find this girl, but when we were introduced by a mutual friend, we took a liking to each other almost immediatly.

So yeah...

Okay, the girls with the cleaning stuff. In Genesis it talks about God creating the woman as a helpmeet for the man. As in, he is abover her, and SHE is to help him. Not him help her. Even though it is nice when a guy helps you out and stuff, it's still not his job. Just my input. If you want to know any more about that whoe Genesis thing PM me and I'll give you the reference.

Also, I agree with Molly. We have talked about it before actually. And I do agree. We girls aren't to be looking. They guys are supposed to come get us...But just to add we do need to have set standards for when a guy DOES pursue one of us, because otherwise we could be setting ourselves up for destruction.

I totally agree with you Emily. Setting standards for a relationship is really important, because like you said, if we don't, we could be setting ourselves up. Setting standards and not going any lower than those standards is definitely important.

This is hard because I really want a guy thats kinda big... like tall and stuff. Because well i am and when I look at guys I kinda set the standards at their looks. And I know that thats wrong because thats kinda shallow.. And I shouldn't even really care what he will look like because what I really would like is that he will be on fire for God and when I fall he will be my back-up and I'll do the same for him. I hope that hes my best friend. =]

i have to disagree because looks play a big part, now im not saying thats all thats to it but looks do play a roll

I know what you mean, Darla...
What do you mean they play a role? Like what kind of role? I realize you have to be attracted to the person physically or well, it really won't work...
I love how you said you want him to be your best friend, Darla... I do too! I pray that because I think it's important to be best friends with a guy before you get married. Someone you can be yourself around and tell anything to.

yeahh i think they do play a part but not the whole thing becuase if you just base somebody on their looks you could get somebody you totally shouldn't be with...

My moms friend married this man Dean because he was bad looking you know like the motorcycle type and she divorced him like a year later. Then she married another man named Ken who was the same exact way and she divorced him 14 years later. And she just now figured out that she shouldn't just judge on looks because personality and how the person acts and what he believes means so much more.

well u know what nvm ill keep my thoguhts to myself for now on because apparently, u know what nvm

haha you can say what you think i don't care... im just sayin what I think... Everybody has their own opinons.

no no i dont want to get myself in trouble

No, please, I'd love to hear what you think, especially since you're a guy. All of us girls are talking about what we want in our future husbands, well I'd love to hear a guy express his beliefs and thoughts...

Whhat Bruce do you think im gonna get mad at you?? haha

yeah well i dont think it would be such a smart move on my part to get in to a "debate" about this

ok fine thenn don't say what you thinkk... =]

wasn't planning on it