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 For the Girls - Dating

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Darla
Molly
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Molly
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Molly


Posts : 597
Join date : 2008-05-06

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PostSubject: For the Girls - Dating   For the Girls - Dating Icon_minitimeFri Aug 08, 2008 2:43 pm

So, David and I are starting these dating discussions on here... David is doing one for the guys, and I'm doing one for the girls. Girls, please don't post on the guy's discussions, but feel free to read them and talk about them here. Guys will do the same.

I know dating is a huge issue for all teens. Whether you're dating or not, it's still something that you face as a teenager. Should you date? When should you start dating? What kind of guy should you date? Why wait to date? What are the biblical standards on dating? Why is this such a huge issue? I hope to talk about these things, as well as whatever you girls are facing. Shannon Kubiak Primicerio's book "The Divine Dance" has some great insights on these issues. I wanted to share some quotes from the book with you girls that will get you thinking on some of these questions.

What kind of guy should I be looking out for?

"Being a Christian should always be the first prerequisite for any guy you date, but it shouldn't be the only one. Christian guys can be all wrong for you too. Just because he is a Christian does not mean he is the one God has for you. Look for common interests; look for someone who is going in the same direction in life. Don't look for someone you can live with - look for someone you can't live without. Look for someone who holds you in such high regard that your purity is a priority in his life. Look for a man of passion and integrity, with a love for God so strong it is evident in everything he does and says - even dating."

"Wait for a man who is willing to be bold enough to pursue you, and let Him lead. Otherwise nothing will be as it should be in your relationship."

Yes, you should be looking - as in keeping an eye out for a guy that God may send your way. But you shouldn't be pursuing. That's the man's role.

"Make sure that any guy you date will hold you to an even higher level of purity than you would want to pursue for yourself."

"Hold out for the man with standards higher than your own."

"If the guys in your life do not guard your heart like brothers, then they will never make good lovers, husbands, or even boyfriends. Look for a man who models Christ. Look for one who holds you in high regard... Set your standards high, and let God lift you to a level where you can attain them."

Standards are important. Especially standards on purity. If a man doesn't hold you to a higher level of purity than what you have set for yourself, then he's probably not the one for you. It is the man's role to lead. If your standards are higher than his, then the relationship will not work out the way that God intended. But don't lower your standards for any guy.

What do you girls think? Is there a guy in your life who has lower standards on purity and relationships than you, but you are falling for him anyway? Do you tend to pursue the guys in your life, hoping to get the attention you are looking for? What are your standards on purity? On relationships? On dating in general? I would love to hear your thoughts and get a discussion going.
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Darla

Darla


Posts : 149
Join date : 2008-05-15
Age : 30
Location : Pa.

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PostSubject: Re: For the Girls - Dating   For the Girls - Dating Icon_minitimeFri Aug 08, 2008 3:40 pm

Well, I'm not dating right now because I don't need to i think that im to young. And I remember hearing from Emily that when you date somebody and break up and than the next week your with somebody else and then you break up with them... and they do the same thing over and over again. That could like make a divorce pattern in their life, and it would be easier to get a divorce when your older or something.
And I also don't want to date just anybody because I think that when you date somebody you give pieces of your heart away to that guy. I love this quote because when I do go out with a guy I don't want any acwardness if he wants to do something I don't want to do. And the other way around.

"Make sure that any guy you date will hold you to an even higher level of purity than you would want to pursue for yourself."
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Paris/Gods Angel

Paris/Gods Angel


Posts : 504
Join date : 2008-05-31
Age : 29
Location : St.louis,Mo

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PostSubject: Re: For the Girls - Dating   For the Girls - Dating Icon_minitimeFri Aug 08, 2008 6:45 pm

Girls,God already has someone set aside for each one of us.Wait to have sex becuase it can hurt you physically and emotionally.God will NOT be pleased with you.Sex is supposed to be special and sacred between a husband and wife but it is not anymore and god is NOT pleased with it at all.I think all the girls want to experience their first time with a man of god and give him your most special gift.Your virgin is your most special gift.
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xdreamingHisdreamsx




Posts : 220
Join date : 2008-07-02
Location : Pa

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PostSubject: Re: For the Girls - Dating   For the Girls - Dating Icon_minitimeFri Aug 08, 2008 10:28 pm

I have SO much to say about this, so I am going to break it up into sections hahah Well Paris although i feel the same way, I don't think you have to have sex if your dating someone. Girls, we live in a society that tells us we aren't good enough. Having a guy be your boyfriend is acceptence and safety because we can say, I am loved and wanted. I am not dating at this moment because I don't think it's right for me, right now. Staying pure is a big part of the reason why I'm not dating. I want to be whole when I give myself to my future husband and to do that I can't give little pieces of my heart away all the time.

I can't remember who I read that said this, but like Darla was saying I read an article about teenage relationships. "Relationships" are starting younger and younger. My sister has a friend who is 10 and she is "with" someone and then not and then again and then not. These patterns grow so when they're 15 and 16 they are "with" someone then they are not. While this might be innocent and not involve any sexual interaction, we are setting ourselves up for failure. This teaches us that when we get tired of someone we can just get rid of them. This sets you up for divorce and affairs.

One more thing. I know it's hard sometimes to feel like "everyone" else is dating, but that's simply not the case. My best friends are so commited to purity. Mentally, physically, emotionally. This motivates me and encourages me to do the same. So, I encourage all of you to find some people that you can encourage and that can encourage you. Without my friends even knowing it, they encourage me to have fun, live life, ad not worry about having a boyfriend because God will open the door when He knows I'm ready, and I love my friends for it. I am so proud of them and their willingness to follow His will. I am sure this isn't all I have to say on the topic but hey you never know. Smile By the way great topic Molly. Haha
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Emily

Emily


Posts : 72
Join date : 2008-06-28
Age : 32
Location : Western PA

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PostSubject: Re: For the Girls - Dating   For the Girls - Dating Icon_minitimeSat Aug 09, 2008 8:13 pm

Wow...Everything Emily said REALLY hit home for me!! I like the book "Emotional Purity" by Heather Arnel Paulsen. It is a great book to read and explains that you shouldn't JUST stay sexually pure for marriage but also emotionally pure!

I think it's good to set up standards that you are NOT going to bend just because there is a guy you are interested in. I have soo many thought in this area. I've been through my share of pain in relationships, and it's not fun at ALL! Now that I'm 17 I've really been figuring out that you leave a piece of your heart with everyone your with, and then when you find the man God has for you, you don't have your entire heart to give him.
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beautifuleyes

beautifuleyes


Posts : 99
Join date : 2008-09-25
Age : 31
Location : wherever you want me to be

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PostSubject: Re: For the Girls - Dating   For the Girls - Dating Icon_minitimeThu Sep 25, 2008 2:20 pm

Wow that was soo cool, "Don't look for someone you can live with, look for someone you can't live without"!!!! That's just crazy amazing right there! And i feel the same way as y'all about dating. I wanna be able to look my "dream guy" in the face one day and say...."It was hard, the road was rocky but I saved myself for you, and you alone!" I mean how amazing can that be! And honestly i have not been the best at that. Its so hard not to just live in the moment. And in a culture thats all about instant gratification, it makes it even harder. With all the emotions we all have....yeah you get the picture. But, this year God has taught me so much about just trusting Him, trusting his plan! He keeps bringing to mind this verse, "I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to keep you and not to harm you." God has plans for me that I can't even comprehend! So right now I am just praying and resting in them! And I am praying that all of you girls can too!
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Molly
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Molly


Posts : 597
Join date : 2008-05-06

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PostSubject: Re: For the Girls - Dating   For the Girls - Dating Icon_minitimeThu Sep 25, 2008 6:15 pm

That's great that you're trying, Hannah. And I agree with you! Yes, it definitely is hard... My heart has gone ahead of itself many times! And I've let my emotions run at times too. It's definitely a struggle and a challenge, but the benefits of waiting - both emotionally and physically - will far outweigh the struggle! I know they will because I know that what God has for me is so much better than what I could ever choose to have for myself. I just need to be patient and wait on God for not just the right guy, but the right timing to share my emotions and heart with that guy.
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